The Etiquette and Manners of Gathering in Islam: A Guide to Spiritual and Social Harmony

Dec 15 2024

Islam is a holistic way of life, providing comprehensive guidance on every aspect of human behavior. From the smallest individual act to the larger community responsibilities, Islam outlines a framework that promotes spiritual growth, peace, and unity. Among the many facets of Islamic teachings, one of the most significant is the guidance given for social interactions—specifically the etiquettes for attending and conducting gatherings.

Whether you’re attending a family gathering, a religious meeting, or, more importantly, the sacred gatherings during Umrah, Islam emphasizes the importance of good manners and ethical behavior. These etiquettes are not just guidelines for social politeness; they are deeply spiritual practices that foster harmony, strengthen relationships, and elevate one’s relationship with Allah (SWT).

At Umrah International, we understand that the Umrah pilgrimage is not only a journey to the holy cities of Makkah and Madinah but also a spiritual journey that transforms the way a believer interacts with others. The etiquettes of gathering outlined by Islam have profound significance during Umrah. As pilgrims gather for the noble purpose of worship and reflection, the importance of following these principles cannot be overstated. In this blog, we explore the etiquette and manners of Islamic gatherings and their relevance during Umrah.

Understanding the Significance of Gatherings in Islam

Islam places immense value on community and social interaction. While Islam encourages individual worship and reflection, it also emphasizes the importance of communal worship, support, and cooperation. Gatherings, both public and private, are seen as opportunities for building bonds, sharing knowledge, and strengthening one’s faith.

In the context of Umrah, gatherings take on a deeply spiritual dimension. Pilgrims from all over the world come together, united by a common purpose: to seek forgiveness, express gratitude, and grow closer to Allah. During these sacred moments, following the proper etiquette ensures that the experience is spiritually uplifting, respectful, and filled with blessings.

The Role of Gatherings During Umrah

During Umrah, the sacred act of worship involves joining large gatherings at the Masjid al-Haram and other holy sites. Whether in the prayer hall, during Tawaf (the act of circumambulating the Ka’bah), or in the Arafat gathering during Hajj, adhering to the prescribed manners fosters peace and reverence among the pilgrims. It’s essential to realize that every action, no matter how small, can add to the sanctity of the pilgrimage.

Key Etiquettes of Islamic Gatherings

Islam has provided clear guidance on how to behave in gatherings. These etiquettes ensure that social interactions remain respectful, beneficial, and pleasing to Allah. Here’s a detailed breakdown of each of these etiquettes, along with their relevance to the Umrah experience:

1. Seeking Permission Before Entering a Private Gathering

One of the first lessons in Islamic manners is the importance of seeking permission before entering someone else’s space. This is a basic form of respect for others’ privacy and personal space. The Quran says:

“O you who have believed, do not enter houses other than your own houses until you ascertain welcome.” (An-Nur 24:27)

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:

“Permission should be asked for three times; if you are given permission, then enter. Otherwise, go back.” (Musnad Ahmad 19175)

This practice teaches humility and respect for the boundaries of others. During Umrah, as pilgrims prepare to enter the holy sites, such as the Masjid al-Haram, this etiquette becomes even more vital. Pilgrims should always seek to respect the sanctity of the places they enter and acknowledge the boundaries that others may have set.

2. Greeting Others Upon Entering and Leaving

Islamic gatherings are filled with the warmth of Salam, a greeting that signifies peace, unity, and goodwill. When entering or leaving a gathering, it is important to greet those present with the words “Assalamu Alaikum” (Peace be upon you). The Quran emphasizes this:

“O you who have believed, do not enter houses other than your own houses until you ascertain welcome and greet their inhabitants.” (An-Nur 24:27)

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) also stated:

“When one of you comes to a gathering, let him say Salam (greetings), and when he wants to leave, let him say Salam, for the former is not more of a duty than the latter.” (Abu Dawud 2508)

For Umrah pilgrims, this greeting is not only an expression of peace but a means of maintaining the spiritual unity and camaraderie that defines the pilgrimage. The sacred journey involves coming together as one Ummah, and the greeting of Salam reinforces this unity.

3. Making Room for Others

In Islam, making space for others is a form of generosity and kindness. The Quran advises:

“O you who believe! When you are told to make room in the assemblies, (spread out and) make room. Allah will give you (ample) room (from His Mercy).” (Al-Mujadilah 58:11)

This act of making room is particularly significant during Umrah when large crowds gather at the holy sites. Pilgrims should always be mindful of others, ensuring that everyone has space to perform their acts of worship. This reflects the spirit of brotherhood in Islam, where the well-being of the collective is prioritized over personal comfort.

4. Not Asking Others to Give Up Their Seat

In Islamic gatherings, it is considered disrespectful to ask someone to vacate their spot unless they willingly offer it. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:

“If one of you gets up from his spot and then comes back to it, he has more right to it.” (Muslim 2179)

This rule ensures that everyone’s place is respected, contributing to a sense of fairness and equality. During Umrah, when space is limited in the sacred areas, respecting others’ places is especially important to maintain order and tranquility.

5. Sitting in the First Available Spot

When entering a gathering, one should sit in the first available seat rather than seeking out a specific spot. Jabir bin Samurah (RA) narrated:

“When we came to the Prophet (PBUH), one of us would sit wherever there was room.” (Abu Dawud 4825)

This etiquette is particularly relevant during Umrah, where large crowds make it impossible to claim specific spots. Pilgrims should embrace humility and accept any space they are given, ensuring that the gathering remains peaceful and orderly.

6. Not Sitting Between Two People Without Permission

Sitting between two people who are already seated can create discomfort unless it is done with their permission. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:

“It is not permissible for a man to come between two others, except with their permission.” (Abu Dawud 4845)

This rule promotes respect for personal space, ensuring that no one feels intruded upon. Pilgrims should be aware of their surroundings, especially during the busy rituals of Umrah, and be considerate of others’ space.

7. Avoid Sitting in the Middle of a Circle

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) cautioned against sitting in the middle of a gathering, saying:

“Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) cursed the one who sits in the middle of the circle.” (Abu Dawud 4856)

This etiquette ensures that the circle remains balanced and respectful. It also teaches humility, as sitting in the middle may give an impression of seeking attention or prominence. During Umrah, pilgrims should be mindful of the sacredness of their gathering and the importance of maintaining humility.

8. Avoiding Secret Conversations in the Presence of Others

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) advised against secretive conversations in the presence of a third person:

“When there are three of you, then let two not converse in exclusion of their companion or the third, for indeed that will worry him.” (At-Tirmidhi 2852)

This principle applies during Umrah, where pilgrims often interact with strangers in close proximity. Engaging in private conversations can cause discomfort and lead to feelings of exclusion. By adhering to this etiquette, pilgrims foster a sense of inclusivity and warmth.

9. Remembering Allah in Every Gathering

A gathering without the remembrance of Allah is incomplete and lacking in blessings. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said:

“No group gathers in a sitting in which they do not remember Allah, nor send peace and blessings upon their Prophet (PBUH), except it will be a source of remorse for them. If He Wills, He will punish them, and if He Wills, He will forgive them.” (At-Tirmidhi 3380)

During Umrah, the remembrance of Allah is central to every moment of the pilgrimage. Pilgrims should engage in Dhikr (remembrance of Allah) and recite Salawat (blessings upon the Prophet) during their time in the sacred spaces, ensuring that their gatherings remain spiritually enriching.

The Virtue of Making Room for Others in Islamic Gatherings

In Islam, one of the essential etiquettes of social gatherings is the act of making space for others, particularly newcomers. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) emphasized the importance of this gesture, which fosters an environment of kindness, humility, and generosity within communities.

The Qur’anic Guidance on Making Room

Allah (SWT) instructs believers to make space for one another in social settings, as described in the Qur’an:

“O you who have believed, when you are told, ‘Make room [for one another]’ in gatherings, then make room; Allah will make room for you.” (Qur’an, Surah Al-Mujadila, 58:11)

This verse illustrates the divine wisdom behind this practice. By making space for others, believers contribute to a peaceful and respectful atmosphere, cultivating a sense of mutual care and improving the quality of gatherings, whether they are religious, educational, or casual.

Promoting Unity Through Social Etiquette

The guidance in this verse aims to prevent discord and encourage kindness in interactions. It serves as an essential rule for all kinds of social gatherings, including study circles, community meetings, and religious assemblies. The primary purpose is to ensure that everyone feels welcomed and valued, thereby strengthening social ties.

The Historical Context of the Command

The instruction to make room for others was revealed during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), when his Companions (Sahabah) were so eager to sit close to him that they occasionally competed for seats. This led to the revelation of the aforementioned verse, addressing the need for proper conduct in gatherings and ensuring that all attendees, whether latecomers or newcomers, are accommodated.

As Qatadah, a noted scholar of the Tabi’een (successors of the Companions), explained, this verse was particularly directed towards gatherings of knowledge and discussions. The reluctance of some Companions to make space for others prompted Allah’s revelation, urging them to be generous and considerate in making room for those seeking to benefit from the discussions.

Prophetic Teachings on Making Space

Several hadiths of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) highlight the importance of making space in gatherings:

  • “Let no person get up only to have another sit in his place. Instead, make room, and Allah will make room for you.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
  • “When people take their places and sit, and a man invites a [Muslim] brother of his and makes room for him, let the latter take it. It is a generous gesture offered to him, so let him sit there.” (Tabari)

These sayings reinforce the value of offering space to others as an act of kindness, humility, and generosity.

Etiquette for Welcoming Newcomers

When someone arrives late to a gathering, it is an act of courtesy for those already present to make room. This ensures that the newcomer can join the group without feeling excluded. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) taught that when newcomers seek a place to sit, those present should make space, allowing them to benefit from the gathering.

A notable hadith provides an example of this practice: While the Prophet (PBUH) was seated with his Companions, three men arrived. One found a place to sit, another sat behind the group, and the third left due to lack of space. The Prophet (PBUH) explained the different responses, teaching that the first man sought refuge with Allah by taking the available seat, the second man hesitated and sat at the back, while the third missed the opportunity and left. The Prophet (PBUH) concluded by saying, “Allah turned away from the one who left.” This illustrates the spiritual importance of making space for others in gatherings, especially in learning and worship.

Respecting Personal Space and Avoiding Disruptions

Islam teaches that individuals should avoid separating people who are sitting together unless they have permission. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) forbade this, saying:

“It is not lawful for any man to separate two people without their permission.” (Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)

This highlights the need for respect and consideration for the relationships between individuals. Creating unnecessary disruptions by intruding on the space of others is discouraged.

Proper Seating Etiquette

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) also emphasized that when joining a gathering, one should sit at the end of the group rather than displacing someone who is already seated. Jabir Ibn Samurah (RA) narrated that when the Companions joined the Prophet (PBUH), they would sit at the end of the circle, ensuring that others did not have to stand up. This practice preserved the comfort and dignity of the group.

The Role of Greetings in Islamic Gatherings

Another key aspect of Islamic etiquette is the act of greeting others when entering a gathering. The Prophet (PBUH) instructed that a person should not join a gathering without first offering a greeting:

“Do not admit a person who does not begin with a greeting.” (Abu Ya’la)

The act of greeting, or Salam, promotes peace, unity, and goodwill among people. The Prophet (PBUH) further emphasized the importance of spreading peace and connecting with others:

“O People! Spread greetings. Offer food. Keep in touch with your blood relatives. And pray while people are asleep. And you will be admitted into Paradise in peace.” (Tirmidhi)

Salutations When Departing

Islam also emphasizes the proper etiquette when leaving a gathering. It is important for a Muslim to bid farewell with a greeting of peace:

“If one of you joins an assembly, let him greet (the people there). And if he gets up while others are still sitting, let him greet (them). For the former greeting is not more of an obligation than the latter.” (Ahmed and Abu Dawud)

This ensures that the farewell is filled with respect and goodwill, contributing to the overall spirit of harmony within the gathering.

The Etiquette of Visiting and Departing

When visiting others, it is important to be mindful of the length of the visit. Islam teaches that one should not overstay their welcome and should leave once their purpose for visiting has been fulfilled. Allah (SWT) commands:

“And when you are told, ‘Arise,’ then arise.” (Qur’an, Surah Al-Mujadila, 58:11)

This verse encourages believers to be considerate of the host and to leave promptly when asked, respecting their time and space.

Proper Conduct During Gatherings

The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) also taught that Muslims should maintain proper manners when sitting with others. This includes being modest, attentive, and respectful. One should not turn their head excessively or clear their throat unnecessarily, as this can cause discomfort to others.

Moreover, if someone sneezes and praises Allah by saying “Alhamdulillah”, those around them should respond by invoking Allah’s mercy upon them. Similarly, when yawning, one should cover their mouth and resist further yawning to avoid disturbing others.

Ending a Gathering with a Supplication

Before leaving a gathering, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) encouraged participants to make a supplication for forgiveness. A well-known hadith narrated by Abu Hurairah (RA) states:

“When a person sits in an assembly, having engaged in much idle talk, and then says, before getting up: ‘Glory and praise be to You, my Lord. There is no God other than You. I pray for Your pardon and repent to You’—Allah forgives him for the idle talk in that assembly.” (Tirmidhi)

This supplication ensures that the gathering ends on a positive note, with the individual seeking Allah’s forgiveness for any possible shortcomings or idle conversation.

Adhering to the Etiquette of Gatherings

The etiquettes of gathering outlined in the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) are not mere social customs, but integral aspects of Islamic behavior that promote peace, respect, and kindness. By making room for others, greeting each other with peace, and showing consideration for personal space, Muslims contribute to the overall harmony and spiritual benefit of the gathering.

In the context of Islamic gatherings—whether they are for worship, learning, or socializing—following these guidelines fosters an environment of mutual respect and spiritual growth. By embracing these principles, we can ensure that our gatherings are not only pleasant but also spiritually enriching, drawing us closer to Allah (SWT).

Conclusion:

In conclusion, the etiquettes of gathering in Islam are not just about maintaining order; they are a reflection of the deep respect, humility, and love that Muslims are encouraged to demonstrate in their interactions with others. These etiquettes serve to foster a sense of community, peace, and mutual respect—qualities that are integral to the Muslim way of life.

During Umrah, these principles take on even greater significance. As pilgrims from across the globe come together to worship Allah, adhering to these etiquettes ensures that the pilgrimage is filled with tranquility, respect, and spiritual growth. By embracing these manners, pilgrims not only enrich their own experience but also contribute to the collective sanctity of the pilgrimage, making their journey to the Holy Land a truly transformative and blessed experience.

At Umrah International, we strive to provide guidance and support for your journey, ensuring that every step you take in your pilgrimage is aligned with the principles of Islam. By following these etiquettes, you can make the most of your spiritual journey, fostering harmony and unity with fellow Muslims and, above all, drawing closer to Allah.

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